Painful Friendships

Its an unusual habit to carry. I've just realized this trend of mine...
I destroy friendships?
Or maybe its not me. I don't know. Correlation confused with causation?
I feel so hurt. I try so hard. I want to say its unfair, but everyone has their own issues that they can't express. Just because I want an answer now, doesn't mean they're ready to give it.
Still, it seems crazy to me. Most people have a string of broken relationships. But broken friendships? That seems unusual.
I have only ever had three relationships, only one of them was official. And for someone that's almost eighteen and not a recluse, that seems small. The time period of those three only add up to about a year. It just seems weird that I have a harder time with friends.
One friend wants me to chill out and basically keep my thoughts to myself so we can just enjoy our time together.
The other is literally demanding I speak my mind verily all the time, as though I'm lying to her if I stall before I give an answer. Can't she understand the fear? She doesn't get how afraid of her I am.
I am afraid of her.
I am afraid of her.
I am AFRAID of her?
It is all so clear now.
This is not who I am.
I am not someone to fear people.
Understand, empathize, defend, excuse wrongs for whatever reasons...
But halting fear? No, no no no no.
Something has got to give.

Christ is risen!

It is the time for new beginnings. Death is dead, sin is dead. We are all alive in Christ, we are all made new this day. Whatever happened yesterday doesn't matter, because Christ has redeemed us all. Praise God! Holy Spirit, come and change me today, I want to feel the true joy and passion that is Easter. Hallelujah! Amen.