... Pity

I'm sitting here, feeling like a typical woman sometimes does. Pitiful for myself. Wondering why no one is spending time with me.
Then I take one look and think, "Why would anyone want to?"
I have read that happiness is finding yourself in the world. In work, in people, in life as it is. So we stay in, to find ourselves in the quiet places, and simply relax and exist. And before we can say, What am I doing?, we are feeling pitifully alone and abandoned, forgetting that it was we who did the abandoning, shutting ourselves away. We were looking for ourselves. And we found nothing, because we really did no soul searching. We didn't look out into the world. We didn't do anything. And now we're sad, big surprise.
Its the same with Facebook. I hate Facebook. I have hundreds (yeah, seriously) of friends that I don't want to talk to, don't want to look at pictures of, don't want to connect with at all. But yet I'm drawn to the place where everyone congregates, looking for that place where I belong, and get repeatedly pissed at the infinite nothingness there.
Sex and the City, my favorite show. Great for inspiration or female empowerment. Not great for marathons. No matter that Carrie is going through the same things you are, she's not really there for you. She talks with Miranda for wisdom, Samantha for savvy, Charlotte for sweetness, and you just watch and listen. And learn... what? That you're still on your ass watching them live better (no matter what they say) lives than you.
Please, don't go. I don't mean to whine. Stay, sit with me. If you listen long enough... I'll start to be myself again. You'll see.
Anyway, the exaggeration comes to this...
Every day, ask yourself this. Once, not necessarily morning or evening, just when it occurs to you.
What am I looking for? And where will I find it?
The more simple and honest your answer is, the happier you are. Its not prophetic, just a barometer. Check yourself.

If you wanna be depressive, be depressive. No big deal.
But when you don't wanna be depressive anymore, don't be. Simple as that.